Life has been so busy, and I have so much to say that I get overwhelmed and decide to say nothing at all. Maybe this blog has run its course?
Mike has been gone for 7 months now. It has been 8-1/2 months since I heard his voice. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet it seems like yesterday. I still miss him, and there will always be a place in my heart for him. I will always keep his memory alive for Jack. He was my soulmate. For the person that I was when I met him and the 13 years I spent with him. His death has changed me. As my heart healed and I picked up the pieces, I met and fell in love with another man, who is my soulmate for the person I have become. That dark place, the broken pieces...it was terrifying. Jeramy brought me out of that darkness and taught me how to love again. At first this came with a lot of guilt, and I struggled with my feelings. I felt like I was betraying Mike. As time went on I became more comfortable with it, and I know Mike would have wanted me to move on and be happy. And he would want a good man to help me raise Jack. I will never forget that my husband is dead. It sits there with my every breath, every thought. But here, on this side, there is life. And I will live it to the best of my ability.
On a lighter note: Both boys have started school again. The summer flew by! Jack was very lucky and has a great teacher this year. I can't believe he's already in 5th grade. It was a little hard for both of us to start the year off without Mike, but we got through it just fine. Jeramy stepped up and went to the open house with us. Austin started college also. He was set back by an extra semester because two of his classes toward his degree were canceled, so he had to choose 2 classes that will not go toward his degree. He has accepted that and loves the classes he chose as replacements, so it'll all work out.
There are so many things that have happened over the summer (all mostly good), but it's difficult to put it all into words.
Here are some pictures to document the highlights:
Mike has been gone for 7 months now. It has been 8-1/2 months since I heard his voice. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet it seems like yesterday. I still miss him, and there will always be a place in my heart for him. I will always keep his memory alive for Jack. He was my soulmate. For the person that I was when I met him and the 13 years I spent with him. His death has changed me. As my heart healed and I picked up the pieces, I met and fell in love with another man, who is my soulmate for the person I have become. That dark place, the broken pieces...it was terrifying. Jeramy brought me out of that darkness and taught me how to love again. At first this came with a lot of guilt, and I struggled with my feelings. I felt like I was betraying Mike. As time went on I became more comfortable with it, and I know Mike would have wanted me to move on and be happy. And he would want a good man to help me raise Jack. I will never forget that my husband is dead. It sits there with my every breath, every thought. But here, on this side, there is life. And I will live it to the best of my ability.
On a lighter note: Both boys have started school again. The summer flew by! Jack was very lucky and has a great teacher this year. I can't believe he's already in 5th grade. It was a little hard for both of us to start the year off without Mike, but we got through it just fine. Jeramy stepped up and went to the open house with us. Austin started college also. He was set back by an extra semester because two of his classes toward his degree were canceled, so he had to choose 2 classes that will not go toward his degree. He has accepted that and loves the classes he chose as replacements, so it'll all work out.
There are so many things that have happened over the summer (all mostly good), but it's difficult to put it all into words.
Here are some pictures to document the highlights: