I have been told there will be good days and bad days. For the first 3 weeks, I didn't believe that because every day has been a bad day, and the thought of having a good day was so far from reality I just couldn't even imagine it. But then I found myself telling a friend on that yesterday was a good day. I didn't think much about it until later when it hit me that I HAD A GOOD DAY FOR REALZ! I still cried many times, but less than the days before that, and I actually smiled a couple times...a true, genuine smile. Is THIS what it feels like to have a good day?
I had to go to Albuquerque in the morning for a meeting that went very well, and I walked away from that meeting with confidence that I'm making good decisions for myself and the boys.
I also got to pick up my car from the shop after leaving it there for 2 days (I felt so vulnerable without my car!). Turns out, it's a really good thing I listened to that gut feeling and brought it in for a checkup. There was some oil valve or switch (or something??!) leak that would have turned into a very serious problem quickly and most likely would have cost me my car. I also had them do a brake job, fix my electrical system so I can finally roll my windows down(!), and some other maintenance things to make sure my car is safe. There are still a few things they recommended I have done, but nothing pressing, so I'll pick away at the little things as time and finances allow. The total bill for this set was almost $800, so I'll catch my breath for a while before having more done (repairing and charging the AC among them). The best part of this whole thing is that I needed a ride to pick up my car, so I ended up reconnecting with an old friend I haven't seen for almost 10 years, and it was wonderful to see her again.
I thought about Mike constantly from the time I woke up yesterday, had many reminders of him throughout the day, and was thinking about him when I fell asleep. I miss him. So much. I'm starting to believe that someday the thoughts will be less intense and painful. Until then, I'll just be satisfied that I don't feel the need to cry every.single.time I think of him. It has been a month now since Mike passed away. It feels like a lifetime ago already.
I had to go to Albuquerque in the morning for a meeting that went very well, and I walked away from that meeting with confidence that I'm making good decisions for myself and the boys.
I also got to pick up my car from the shop after leaving it there for 2 days (I felt so vulnerable without my car!). Turns out, it's a really good thing I listened to that gut feeling and brought it in for a checkup. There was some oil valve or switch (or something??!) leak that would have turned into a very serious problem quickly and most likely would have cost me my car. I also had them do a brake job, fix my electrical system so I can finally roll my windows down(!), and some other maintenance things to make sure my car is safe. There are still a few things they recommended I have done, but nothing pressing, so I'll pick away at the little things as time and finances allow. The total bill for this set was almost $800, so I'll catch my breath for a while before having more done (repairing and charging the AC among them). The best part of this whole thing is that I needed a ride to pick up my car, so I ended up reconnecting with an old friend I haven't seen for almost 10 years, and it was wonderful to see her again.
I thought about Mike constantly from the time I woke up yesterday, had many reminders of him throughout the day, and was thinking about him when I fell asleep. I miss him. So much. I'm starting to believe that someday the thoughts will be less intense and painful. Until then, I'll just be satisfied that I don't feel the need to cry every.single.time I think of him. It has been a month now since Mike passed away. It feels like a lifetime ago already.