Things have been pretty stable lately, so there hasn't been much to write about. This is a good thing, as there have been no major ups and downs and I feel like I'm finally off the crazy roller coaster I was on for the past 2+ months.
Austin had a great time in California and is now back home. It was nice (for us) that he was only gone for 9 days because just when we really started missing him, it was time for him to come home. I know his CA family really misses him, though, and would have liked more time with him. He'll be going back there in only 2 months, so they'll have a good summer with him. Things are going to get even more interesting this summer! Jack will be going with them for the first time ever and will be spending 2 weeks with them. They will be taking him to Disneyland, camping, and even a fishing derby. Jack and I are really close, and he has always said he'd never go somewhere without me, so I was shocked when he agreed to go to CA with Austin since I will not be going with them. This is going to be a huge blessing for all of us, and I'm grateful for the opportunity for Jack to experience this (thank you Tom and Colleen!).
I have set a tentative date for Mike's memorial. I am looking at June 22. I still have to figure out where to have it and make sure that date works, but you can pencil it in if you plan on coming and I'll confirm that by the end of this week. I've really been struggling with this part. As I mentioned previously, I think I subconsciously wanted to delay the service as long as possible because it was just too final, and I was having a hard time accepting that Mike was really gone. On the other hand, I think we all really need this closure as our final step toward beginning our new lives. It's time.
Overall, the 3 of us have been doing very well. We all still have our moments, and we probably always will. I accept that now. Jack has been doing so great, I'm so proud of him. He has been going over to his friend's house almost every day after school, and it does my heart good that he's behaving so....normally. Austin is staying really busy with his full schedule this semester, both with going to class and tutoring. I've been working more and staying very busy trying to keep the chaos here to a minimum. I used to be a hermit and really loved staying at home most of the time. Lately, though, I have to try to get out almost every day even for a little while. I'm grateful I have my knitting group to go to, and I always have little errands to run. I'm rediscovering myself along this journey. When this all first started and someone would tell me I'm strong, I would think to myself that's ridiculous, I'm not strong. I'm learning that I AM strong, and I AM brave. This is some scary crap I've been going through, and I keep picking up the pieces and holding everything together, and that's not easy! So what if I melt into a puddle of tears on occasion? Heaven forbid I should cry, or say or do something that seems totally inappropriate once in a while. My favorite phrase lately....FUCK IT!
Austin had a great time in California and is now back home. It was nice (for us) that he was only gone for 9 days because just when we really started missing him, it was time for him to come home. I know his CA family really misses him, though, and would have liked more time with him. He'll be going back there in only 2 months, so they'll have a good summer with him. Things are going to get even more interesting this summer! Jack will be going with them for the first time ever and will be spending 2 weeks with them. They will be taking him to Disneyland, camping, and even a fishing derby. Jack and I are really close, and he has always said he'd never go somewhere without me, so I was shocked when he agreed to go to CA with Austin since I will not be going with them. This is going to be a huge blessing for all of us, and I'm grateful for the opportunity for Jack to experience this (thank you Tom and Colleen!).
I have set a tentative date for Mike's memorial. I am looking at June 22. I still have to figure out where to have it and make sure that date works, but you can pencil it in if you plan on coming and I'll confirm that by the end of this week. I've really been struggling with this part. As I mentioned previously, I think I subconsciously wanted to delay the service as long as possible because it was just too final, and I was having a hard time accepting that Mike was really gone. On the other hand, I think we all really need this closure as our final step toward beginning our new lives. It's time.
Overall, the 3 of us have been doing very well. We all still have our moments, and we probably always will. I accept that now. Jack has been doing so great, I'm so proud of him. He has been going over to his friend's house almost every day after school, and it does my heart good that he's behaving so....normally. Austin is staying really busy with his full schedule this semester, both with going to class and tutoring. I've been working more and staying very busy trying to keep the chaos here to a minimum. I used to be a hermit and really loved staying at home most of the time. Lately, though, I have to try to get out almost every day even for a little while. I'm grateful I have my knitting group to go to, and I always have little errands to run. I'm rediscovering myself along this journey. When this all first started and someone would tell me I'm strong, I would think to myself that's ridiculous, I'm not strong. I'm learning that I AM strong, and I AM brave. This is some scary crap I've been going through, and I keep picking up the pieces and holding everything together, and that's not easy! So what if I melt into a puddle of tears on occasion? Heaven forbid I should cry, or say or do something that seems totally inappropriate once in a while. My favorite phrase lately....FUCK IT!